Meghan: Tests

I just couldn’t take it anymore.
You understand.
The fourth failed test of the semester was stuffed in my backpack hidden in the dark recesses of my closet. I had tried so hard, I really had, but I just couldn’t seem to get the grades I wanted.
Eyes blurring and hands shaky with a mixture of fear and relief I popped the top off of the first bottle of pills I grabbed from the bathroom cabinet. I had barely poured it down my throat when I was reaching for another. And another, and another. A little scrap of paper fluttered down from where it had been wedged behind one of them and floated to the counter. It caught my eye as I paused, chest heaving to lean against the counter. It read:

Meghan,
I know your chemistry exam was today so I replaced all of the meds in the house with sugar pills.
-love Jasmine

My right eye started twitching as I finished reading the note. Or perhaps it was the massive intake of sugar that was now soaking into my system. I wondered vaguely where she had gotten so many sugar pills as I voyaged out of the bathroom in a continued search. As I thought, she had removed my stores of nooses, bludgeoning objects, and sharp things. I don’t know how I had missed the lack of…everything, in my original journey through the apartment. She had also neatly padded the walls in case I thought of throwing myself against them. But no matter, I would just leave my safe and newly cushioned apartment. With a determined look on my brow I set off, the sky growing darker and growling ominously.

Perfect.
I stood on the bridge that went over the Rio Grande, wind whipping my hair and lightning crackling above me. As high places go, there aren’t a lot in New Mexico, and high bridges; forget it. So I would settle for this. Tears streamed down my face as I spread my arms wide, the white virginal sacrificial gown I was wearing flapped in the wind.
“Get down from there.”
I almost fell from my perch on the rail in surprise. Waving my arms for balance I turned to see Jasmine standing behind me, wrapped in coats and holding an umbrella.
“No.” I said, turning once more to the swirling water, “I failed my test again.”
“By failed you mean…?”
“I’M NOT TELLING YOU!!!” I snapped, closing my eyes, “It’s too awful.”
“Well, if you change your mind…” She paused dramatically and I heard her shifting things around, “I brought coffee.”
I peeked at her in the corner of my eye and she was indeed sipping from a steaming Starbucks cup as she held another out to me. The umbrella was wedged in the crook of her elbow. My body started turning involuntarily and I shivered in my thin white dress.
“Coffee?”
“Raspberry.” She waved it back and forth and I slid off the rail. Then we sat down on it together and had coffee.




-M