Today is Tuesday. It’s 1:20. I haven’t touched a climbing wall since Sunday around 5:00. Twitch. Not an uber twitch, but a small twitch followed by several more small twitches all whispering “climb something.” It’s the same voice that whispers things like “shhh you don’t need to go to class.” And “Buy the kitty.” So obviously it’s not always wrong. Nothing and no one is ever wrong all the time.
I started climbing when I was in high school, but I’ve never managed to climb consistently until a few weeks ago. My first true climbing partner was Margaret, we climbed till our ride gave out on us. Then the next year her mom got a car and Margaret got a license so we climbed some more, then she moved to Texas, then to France. I climbed only one or two times every four to six months for the next couple of years. Over this winter break I bought myself a month membership and Eli became my climbing partner. His car Rachel died at the end of the month. We enlisted Weston to drive us. Weston stopped going to the Gym and started going to Hueco tanks for the next five weeks. I think I’m cursed and eventually everyone who ever climbed with me will leave the country after their cars break down.
During the last week that Weston was climbing at Hueco he invited me along. It was bouldering… I’ve never really bouldered except to get on top of a rock and go “look I’m on top of a rock…” climb down carefully. Hueco was awesome, and beautiful and the climbers were muscled, shirtless, gleaming in the sunlight, salty sweat dripping down their chests begging me to lick… but I didn’t! Wanted to… sigh. I tried climbing. I ripped open my hands trying to climb. But in the end the only climb I finished was the descent into bloodline and climbing back out. I couldn’t finish any bouldering climbs. Very sad but I’m fixing that now.
Instead of relying on one potentially destroyable car there are now two, both of which look and sound as if they will die any day but as of now they still run. instead of one climbing partner I’ve collected a mish mash of them. Weston did leave the country but he’s back for now. Two others are going to be gone this summer, maybe three. But I’ll manage. I climb and I leave my apartment many times during the week. A definite improvement on my formerly hermit activities.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpYMrxARCBQ
I watched a guy climb this climb while I was at Hueco. Apparently sometime last year a piece fell off and it went from a V14 to a V11. It’s still cool though.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sarah: Clarification and Appologies
Let me clarify -
I love my roommate. She is an awesome person, and although I don't agree with all of her views or some of her actions, I am VERY VERY SORRY if this came off as an attack to her in any way. I was upset. Very upset. And felt very lonely and isolated. But that doesn't mean I have any right to vent to a public audience, and that is not what I meant to do. I simply think that her and I are very different people and that can be frustrating sometimes. She however is a wonderful roommate and I'd like to recognise my own inabilites to communicate and compromise in some situations. I also thought that this blog had a more private audience consisting of primarily the fear five. So I hope that if she reads this, that she knows that I didn't mean it how it came off. And also some of my grievances are petty, and I know that, and I'm appologise for that as well. Venting how you feel can be very important. My roommate is a much more of a people person than me and I get upset because I don't like the group in my private space. That's ultimately what that was about, and that doesn't mean that in any way she is not awesome and a wonderful person.
As for communism, I didn't mean to mention it in my post at all, what I meant was Capitalism. I know the differences quite well between communism and socialism, and I don't support either. I like classes. I have to say. Doesn't mean I support poverty, but I support earning what you earn for yourself and your family and what you have reflecting what you have earned. I.E. Working your way to the top, or on some occassions, not. I also support respecting other people and their earnings whatever they are.
As for no long term affects of marijuana - let's talk:
-Smoker's Cough
-THC is stored in the fat cells and protein cells (ex. hair) for months (the time depends on the amount consumed, but regardless the body is very slow at filtering it out).
- Social/Economic affects include the foreign manpower - often very poor ocassionaly child or conscriptive labor to produce the drug because it is not legal and thus not regulated in the United States. As per grow houses within the U.S., they are still not environmental monitored.
- It affects brain chemistry just like any other drug which long-term affects are simular to addictive substances like nicotine, messing with the receptors for pleasure in the limbic system.
also, all I said was that it isn't healthy. I said nothing about its comparison to other drugs, prescription or otherwise. Also, I support its legalization, one so we can tax it, and two so we don't waste prison space and resources from the War on Drugs for marijuana infractions.
Lastly,
I still wouldn't do it. Anything that you smoke kills cells in your lungs. There are plenty of other toxins unavoidable in the world that adding an unneccesary one to my life doesn't make sense. I don't see the benefit. Others might and I agree that is okay. I would also like to amend that my roommate probably wouldn't argue that it is healthy, but medically beneficial. And she's probably right about that. But it is also expensive and for 150 dollars a month, I'll pass. However, I make no judgement on those whose do use it. I simply want to be acknowledged that in my case benefits do not outway the costs of such a drug.
So to you Anonymous, I hope this clarifies my point of view.
Sincerely,
Sarah
I love my roommate. She is an awesome person, and although I don't agree with all of her views or some of her actions, I am VERY VERY SORRY if this came off as an attack to her in any way. I was upset. Very upset. And felt very lonely and isolated. But that doesn't mean I have any right to vent to a public audience, and that is not what I meant to do. I simply think that her and I are very different people and that can be frustrating sometimes. She however is a wonderful roommate and I'd like to recognise my own inabilites to communicate and compromise in some situations. I also thought that this blog had a more private audience consisting of primarily the fear five. So I hope that if she reads this, that she knows that I didn't mean it how it came off. And also some of my grievances are petty, and I know that, and I'm appologise for that as well. Venting how you feel can be very important. My roommate is a much more of a people person than me and I get upset because I don't like the group in my private space. That's ultimately what that was about, and that doesn't mean that in any way she is not awesome and a wonderful person.
As for communism, I didn't mean to mention it in my post at all, what I meant was Capitalism. I know the differences quite well between communism and socialism, and I don't support either. I like classes. I have to say. Doesn't mean I support poverty, but I support earning what you earn for yourself and your family and what you have reflecting what you have earned. I.E. Working your way to the top, or on some occassions, not. I also support respecting other people and their earnings whatever they are.
As for no long term affects of marijuana - let's talk:
-Smoker's Cough
-THC is stored in the fat cells and protein cells (ex. hair) for months (the time depends on the amount consumed, but regardless the body is very slow at filtering it out).
- Social/Economic affects include the foreign manpower - often very poor ocassionaly child or conscriptive labor to produce the drug because it is not legal and thus not regulated in the United States. As per grow houses within the U.S., they are still not environmental monitored.
- It affects brain chemistry just like any other drug which long-term affects are simular to addictive substances like nicotine, messing with the receptors for pleasure in the limbic system.
also, all I said was that it isn't healthy. I said nothing about its comparison to other drugs, prescription or otherwise. Also, I support its legalization, one so we can tax it, and two so we don't waste prison space and resources from the War on Drugs for marijuana infractions.
Lastly,
I still wouldn't do it. Anything that you smoke kills cells in your lungs. There are plenty of other toxins unavoidable in the world that adding an unneccesary one to my life doesn't make sense. I don't see the benefit. Others might and I agree that is okay. I would also like to amend that my roommate probably wouldn't argue that it is healthy, but medically beneficial. And she's probably right about that. But it is also expensive and for 150 dollars a month, I'll pass. However, I make no judgement on those whose do use it. I simply want to be acknowledged that in my case benefits do not outway the costs of such a drug.
So to you Anonymous, I hope this clarifies my point of view.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sarah: What's Up (as per Meghan's request)
I think about my weekend and wonder why anyone can think that life is boring. I didn't do much other than homework really. I saw The Blind Side, a movie which I loved. I got angry, like really pissed, at my roommate and her group. Word of wisdom - never EVER mess with a woman's baby. EVER. Walking into my room is one offense, borrowing my computer speakers without permission is a fatal mistake. FATAL! Eh, I'm over it really. However, I have come to the conclusion that socialism is the devil. And that you should never be roommates with someone that is your polar opposite. ****EDITED FOR CLARITY**** Because its harder. They may make a good roommate but you will pull out your hair trying to understand why they smoke. Or how they prefer socialism to capitalism. Or, frustartion when you want to oogle over hot guys in Twilight, or using your mini chocolate chips you were saving for pumpkin pancakes for your guy (she did replace those so that argument is totally unfair) ... and, well, ugh. ****END OF EDIT*** Thank goodness I have the most awesomest friend who is coming back home and whom I can quite possibly convince to live next door to me in the future. As long as her snake doesn't eat my indoor liter-box trained rabbit, whom I will call Rex (or Rexles).
On another note, I spend most of my time with Casey E. I have quite possibly found the most loving understanding man in the world. Combine good looks, loving character, compassionate teacher, and the fact that when I'm cleaning he helps without being asked at all (and not just changing light bulbs but vacuuming AND taking out the trash) and you've got my adorable boyfriend of ermm...I think 11 months. We've fought, don't get me wrong, but I can't imagine wanting a life without him in it. He is trying to learn to cook and Thursday's we usually make dinner together. If you get a chance, check out www.bitchcooks.com, which is hilarious - for those guys who need help in the kitchen department. And he likes all of the fear five, too. :D
Speaking of which - Meghan has informed me that she is upset that people don't post enough and that she doesn't know what's going on in everyone's lives. I second this. And that's why I'm devulging.
I'll skip the school part because that seems to always be drab or consume enough of my life anyway. In short - its been hard this semester and I'm dragging through it passing most classes and thinking about dropping others. I do have a class about addictions that is fairly interesting, but that's for another time.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) walk is on May 1st, and thank you to the Woods for connecting me with that organization last year. I'm organizing another team this year (Thank you Doug :D) and a bake sale, and well, I think its an amazing thing to support considering the millions of families affected by mental illness, including my own immediate and extended family. Extending the understanding of mental illness and breaking past sterotypes and stigmas, this organization does a lot of good for people that have no where else to find support, especially family to family.
So that's what's up with me presently. As for the future, in two years I hope to graduate UNM in applied math and biology, apply to doctorate pharmacy programs around the nation (perhaps go somewhere tropical :P) and in six/seven years run my own pharmacy and start a family. But anything can happen.
Happy Easter everyone,
Sincerely,
Sarah
On another note, I spend most of my time with Casey E. I have quite possibly found the most loving understanding man in the world. Combine good looks, loving character, compassionate teacher, and the fact that when I'm cleaning he helps without being asked at all (and not just changing light bulbs but vacuuming AND taking out the trash) and you've got my adorable boyfriend of ermm...I think 11 months. We've fought, don't get me wrong, but I can't imagine wanting a life without him in it. He is trying to learn to cook and Thursday's we usually make dinner together. If you get a chance, check out www.bitchcooks.com, which is hilarious - for those guys who need help in the kitchen department. And he likes all of the fear five, too. :D
Speaking of which - Meghan has informed me that she is upset that people don't post enough and that she doesn't know what's going on in everyone's lives. I second this. And that's why I'm devulging.
I'll skip the school part because that seems to always be drab or consume enough of my life anyway. In short - its been hard this semester and I'm dragging through it passing most classes and thinking about dropping others. I do have a class about addictions that is fairly interesting, but that's for another time.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) walk is on May 1st, and thank you to the Woods for connecting me with that organization last year. I'm organizing another team this year (Thank you Doug :D) and a bake sale, and well, I think its an amazing thing to support considering the millions of families affected by mental illness, including my own immediate and extended family. Extending the understanding of mental illness and breaking past sterotypes and stigmas, this organization does a lot of good for people that have no where else to find support, especially family to family.
So that's what's up with me presently. As for the future, in two years I hope to graduate UNM in applied math and biology, apply to doctorate pharmacy programs around the nation (perhaps go somewhere tropical :P) and in six/seven years run my own pharmacy and start a family. But anything can happen.
Happy Easter everyone,
Sincerely,
Sarah
Friday, March 26, 2010
Meghan: Spill
I watched helplessly as the doomed coffee tipped in slow motion from where it had been resting on my notebook. But my grasping fingers were too late and I hissed and curled around my scalded leg. The smell of sweet coffee heated by Meghan flesh wafted through the room for the rest of the microbiology class, causing many a student to glance over and lick their lips in a concerning manner, much like hyenas scenting a wounded antelope. I fled as soon as I could but groaned when I remembered that I had an advising appointment in two hours that I would have to wait for. So I waited. Perhaps some homework was done, I don’t really remember because the caffeine had soaked its way through the thin barrier of my skin and was eating at my thoughts. Eventually the appointment came and went and I treaded wearily to the bus stop where I could finally take the bus home and be clean. I was leaning against a railing by the stop, craning my neck and my eyeballs for any approaching vehicle, when I felt something furry brush against my leg. I brushed a hand across my ankle, not really thinking about it, but when my fingers smacked the fuzzy thing I realized my mistake and snatched my hand back. The angry wasp twirled past my face, buzzing angrily.
So cute.
It zoomed around my head and was joined in its voyage by another one. Okay, one I can handle, two is less cute and more pain probable. I edged further down the rail away from the happy couple, but they continued to twirl around me. I felt one land on my thigh momentarily before I brushed it off, which is when the edging in the other direction turned to walking quickly in the other direction. The walking turned to running when the two wasps were joined by more of their friends. Luckily I saw my bus in the distance and belted toward it. The angry looking woman behind the wheel grudgingly opened the doors for me. As soon as I slipped inside I turned around to push shut the doors behind me. The swarm was huge by now; I panted with effort as I forced the doors that last inch and winced in relief as I heard their tiny yellow bodies smashing against the barrier. Now there was only the short bus ride home and a little walk until I was home free. I stretched my legs out on the empty bus seats, limbering up for the last part in my journey. Sure enough, when the doors slid open at my stop the swarm was there waiting for me. Holding a textbook in front of my face like a shield I sprinted through the thick of them. I heard them buzzing for my sugar-soaked skin and I fled faster than I’ve ever fled before. I considered stopping for the traffic light but then a wasp bounced directly off of my cheek and I decided to chance it. Waving apologies to the oncoming vehicles (surely they could see I had more pressing issues then wherever they had to be) I kept up the pace until I approached my house. In record time I dug my keys from my backpack, clicked open my door, then slammed it behind me. Most of the bugs had been safely barricaded outside but a few still buzzed in the room with me. I dropped my backpack to the floor and stripped off everything I was wearing, shoving it into the washing machine. The insects followed with glee, I could almost hear them rejoicing that their sweet prey had given up the chase. I slammed the lid down to cover them and twirled the dial on the machine, sighing with relief when I heard the water beginning to churn. Yes I am a bad person. Feeling mildly bad about the whole thing (I did seduce them with spilled coffee after all) I laid my cheek against the hard metal of the washing machine and told them that I hoped their little insect souls would finally find peace. Then I padded upstairs for my bath.
This is based on a real story
It is only slightly exaggerated
-Meghan
So cute.
It zoomed around my head and was joined in its voyage by another one. Okay, one I can handle, two is less cute and more pain probable. I edged further down the rail away from the happy couple, but they continued to twirl around me. I felt one land on my thigh momentarily before I brushed it off, which is when the edging in the other direction turned to walking quickly in the other direction. The walking turned to running when the two wasps were joined by more of their friends. Luckily I saw my bus in the distance and belted toward it. The angry looking woman behind the wheel grudgingly opened the doors for me. As soon as I slipped inside I turned around to push shut the doors behind me. The swarm was huge by now; I panted with effort as I forced the doors that last inch and winced in relief as I heard their tiny yellow bodies smashing against the barrier. Now there was only the short bus ride home and a little walk until I was home free. I stretched my legs out on the empty bus seats, limbering up for the last part in my journey. Sure enough, when the doors slid open at my stop the swarm was there waiting for me. Holding a textbook in front of my face like a shield I sprinted through the thick of them. I heard them buzzing for my sugar-soaked skin and I fled faster than I’ve ever fled before. I considered stopping for the traffic light but then a wasp bounced directly off of my cheek and I decided to chance it. Waving apologies to the oncoming vehicles (surely they could see I had more pressing issues then wherever they had to be) I kept up the pace until I approached my house. In record time I dug my keys from my backpack, clicked open my door, then slammed it behind me. Most of the bugs had been safely barricaded outside but a few still buzzed in the room with me. I dropped my backpack to the floor and stripped off everything I was wearing, shoving it into the washing machine. The insects followed with glee, I could almost hear them rejoicing that their sweet prey had given up the chase. I slammed the lid down to cover them and twirled the dial on the machine, sighing with relief when I heard the water beginning to churn. Yes I am a bad person. Feeling mildly bad about the whole thing (I did seduce them with spilled coffee after all) I laid my cheek against the hard metal of the washing machine and told them that I hoped their little insect souls would finally find peace. Then I padded upstairs for my bath.
This is based on a real story
It is only slightly exaggerated
-Meghan
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Meghan: NC
I closed my eyes and lay my head down on the cool surface of my laptop wishing that I could just die quietly. Maybe I would go to a place where I didn’t have to get up so early to go to class and there were no fluorescent classroom lights to lance my eyeballs.
Uuuggghhhh…
I massaged my shoulder with one hand, wincing when I reached the bruises that traced my spine. Spring break had been fantastic, but great things have great prices.
People had begun filtering into the classroom and I clicked on my computer while I waited for the people who would be grouped with me that day to come find me.
“Hi!” said a bright voice behind me as my laptop sung its ‘coming to life’ song. I turned a little to see one of my group members slide in beside me.
“My name is Anne.” She gave me a 100 watt smile.
“I’m Meghan.” I blinked back.
Her eyes flicked over me and her smile wilted by a few decibels. I stopped rubbing the bruises on my neck and blushed as I pulled at my short hair.
If you could see Anne, you would understand her reaction. Her light brown hair was coiffed back under a prim headband and pearl earrings twinkled at her earlobes (one piercing only). A pert mouth was expertly painted with pink lipstick and her sundress was white and patterned with cherries (I kid you not).
As for me, earrings spiked up both of my ears, my short blonde hair was in disarray from the humidity and the lack of time to try to tame it that morning. Bruises spattered their way across my body in a telling manner, and the wide neck of my shirt showed the edge of my tattoo creeping its way across my shoulder. And I probably had a giant red spot on my face from sleeping on my computer.
Still smiling awkwardly I turned back to my computer and logged on. Belatedly I remembered that I had put up a background picture of a naked angel embracing another angel made of metal. It’s a beautiful picture, hardly scandalous at all. But sure enough, when I snuck a glance at Anne she was staring at my computer with a look much like fear. The bright smile was still pasted on her face but her eyes were just a little too wide.
Sigh
-Meghan
Uuuggghhhh…
I massaged my shoulder with one hand, wincing when I reached the bruises that traced my spine. Spring break had been fantastic, but great things have great prices.
People had begun filtering into the classroom and I clicked on my computer while I waited for the people who would be grouped with me that day to come find me.
“Hi!” said a bright voice behind me as my laptop sung its ‘coming to life’ song. I turned a little to see one of my group members slide in beside me.
“My name is Anne.” She gave me a 100 watt smile.
“I’m Meghan.” I blinked back.
Her eyes flicked over me and her smile wilted by a few decibels. I stopped rubbing the bruises on my neck and blushed as I pulled at my short hair.
If you could see Anne, you would understand her reaction. Her light brown hair was coiffed back under a prim headband and pearl earrings twinkled at her earlobes (one piercing only). A pert mouth was expertly painted with pink lipstick and her sundress was white and patterned with cherries (I kid you not).
As for me, earrings spiked up both of my ears, my short blonde hair was in disarray from the humidity and the lack of time to try to tame it that morning. Bruises spattered their way across my body in a telling manner, and the wide neck of my shirt showed the edge of my tattoo creeping its way across my shoulder. And I probably had a giant red spot on my face from sleeping on my computer.
Still smiling awkwardly I turned back to my computer and logged on. Belatedly I remembered that I had put up a background picture of a naked angel embracing another angel made of metal. It’s a beautiful picture, hardly scandalous at all. But sure enough, when I snuck a glance at Anne she was staring at my computer with a look much like fear. The bright smile was still pasted on her face but her eyes were just a little too wide.
Sigh
-Meghan
Monday, March 15, 2010
That guy: brb vacation Day 1
As in the event of any trip I've ever taken, nothing runs as planned. It makes me wonder why we even have a plan in the first place. I think it's so we have something to compare ourselves to.
Running three hours behind is never fun. However, no tires exploded, no rafts broke, no horrible mosquito clouds summoned themselves from the deep to consume our souls, and so, being only three hours late wasn't that bad.
A break is something I rarely get. Even a few days off here and there is hard to obtain.
I have a whole week off.
It took two months in advance to aquire said time off.
So where do I go?
The treacharous wasteland of Utah.
Delicious.
Anyways.
My day.
Start at 35°04.104'
106°29.852'
First stop is a little town just before San Ysidro. I stopped here on my last trip to Utah for coffee with my uncle. Whee. Potty break. I forgot how much fun bathroom condom dispensers were.
Continue to 36°42.591'
107°59.046'
Bloomfield, NM.
Typical little one horse travel town.
Gas is 2.81 a gallon. Cheap compared to what we've seen on the way so far. The men are divided into two groups. Tourist and local. The tourists are seen with the tourist women, driving overpriced SUV's. The locals all have beards. The women are in the same groups. The local ones look like ZZ Top mixed with Rosie O' Donnell. It's horrifying. I eat a Fruit by the Foot. Molly looses my keys in the car. We drove all day.
The only real loss from our three hour delay means that by thee time we've arrived, and found our hotel, every food place has started to close. At 8:30 at night. Feh.
Our only option is the Denny's right next door. Another feh.
Also, our phone and fridge don't work. And somehow our reservation for a one room two night became one night two room. Another whee.
Anyways, time for bed. Sleepy abe is sleepy.
Running three hours behind is never fun. However, no tires exploded, no rafts broke, no horrible mosquito clouds summoned themselves from the deep to consume our souls, and so, being only three hours late wasn't that bad.
A break is something I rarely get. Even a few days off here and there is hard to obtain.
I have a whole week off.
It took two months in advance to aquire said time off.
So where do I go?
The treacharous wasteland of Utah.
Delicious.
Anyways.
My day.
Start at 35°04.104'
106°29.852'
First stop is a little town just before San Ysidro. I stopped here on my last trip to Utah for coffee with my uncle. Whee. Potty break. I forgot how much fun bathroom condom dispensers were.
Continue to 36°42.591'
107°59.046'
Bloomfield, NM.
Typical little one horse travel town.
Gas is 2.81 a gallon. Cheap compared to what we've seen on the way so far. The men are divided into two groups. Tourist and local. The tourists are seen with the tourist women, driving overpriced SUV's. The locals all have beards. The women are in the same groups. The local ones look like ZZ Top mixed with Rosie O' Donnell. It's horrifying. I eat a Fruit by the Foot. Molly looses my keys in the car. We drove all day.
The only real loss from our three hour delay means that by thee time we've arrived, and found our hotel, every food place has started to close. At 8:30 at night. Feh.
Our only option is the Denny's right next door. Another feh.
Also, our phone and fridge don't work. And somehow our reservation for a one room two night became one night two room. Another whee.
Anyways, time for bed. Sleepy abe is sleepy.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Doug: Wake
My friends keep dying.
First it was Zak. He didn't deserve to get wrapped around the Taco Cabana sign. He didn't deserve a lot of what happened to him. He didn't deserve the Teretz, or the people making fun of him for it.
I didn't deserve him as a friend.
Too late to appreciate that now. He's gone.
Another couple years. I'm older. Another Zach dies. Lovejoy. I won't lie. There were a lot of times that I did not like Zach Lovejoy. He was a pain in the ass sometimes. But he was also a damnably loyal friend. As they say, a nightmare for his enemies and never a more trustworthy friend.
Zach joined the Army. Zach had a fiancee. Zach grew up a lot faster than the rest of us did.
Zach drove over an IED in Afghanistan.
I don't know how much was left, and it doesn't really matter.
Two of my friends.
I woke up in tears last night. In my dream, I had to explain to Chris Whippo's parents why they couldn't see his body. It was because the car bomb hadn't left anything larger than his boot.
Chris Whippo is still alive. However. It is unlikely that very many of the friends I have made are going to go quietly in their sleep.
This is the life I live.
-Doug
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I have become a man with ghosts."
First it was Zak. He didn't deserve to get wrapped around the Taco Cabana sign. He didn't deserve a lot of what happened to him. He didn't deserve the Teretz, or the people making fun of him for it.
I didn't deserve him as a friend.
Too late to appreciate that now. He's gone.
Another couple years. I'm older. Another Zach dies. Lovejoy. I won't lie. There were a lot of times that I did not like Zach Lovejoy. He was a pain in the ass sometimes. But he was also a damnably loyal friend. As they say, a nightmare for his enemies and never a more trustworthy friend.
Zach joined the Army. Zach had a fiancee. Zach grew up a lot faster than the rest of us did.
Zach drove over an IED in Afghanistan.
I don't know how much was left, and it doesn't really matter.
Two of my friends.
I woke up in tears last night. In my dream, I had to explain to Chris Whippo's parents why they couldn't see his body. It was because the car bomb hadn't left anything larger than his boot.
Chris Whippo is still alive. However. It is unlikely that very many of the friends I have made are going to go quietly in their sleep.
This is the life I live.
-Doug
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"I have become a man with ghosts."
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Doug: Whoops
So, I made a stupid.
Last night, while on watch, I decided that I'd finally get around to buying Jasmine's birthday present. She already knows what it is, so I don't feel bad posting about it.
Apparently ever since she saw Resident Evil 3, Jasmine has wanted a Kukri Machete, just like the ones that Alice uses in the movie to deal death to stinky zombies. Kukri's have a long and rather interesting history, most of it bloody. It is essentially a Nepalise tool/weapon knife, similar to the pukko in that it can be used for gutting recently killed game... or gutting your neighbor when he looks funny at your sister.
So, I did some research. I asked Sgt. Google about Kukri's. I asked Sgt. Google about Gurkhas, a type British colonial infantry that used Kukris. I asked my brother about his Kukri.
Finally, I looked online for some Kukri's. I found a really nice one at Cheaperthandirt.com, a shooting/survivalist/hunting website that has a pretty good reputation.
So, imagine me, bored out of my mind on watch in the wardroom, surfing the internet and watching Burn Notice. I realize that I have yet to buy Jasmine's birthday present. Even though her birthday was the day before. Whoops. Well, the plan was to give it to her on spring break anyway. Still, I decided I should probably get on it.
So I whip out the trusty Gold debit card and fill out an account and go through the relatively simple process of buying shit online. And then I click "Purchase."
And nothing happens.
Meh, whatever, it must be user error, right? I go back, make sure all my contact info is correct, and click again.
And nothing happens.
A third time. This time a little message pops up and tells me I've messed up the order process.
I have the sudden and violent urge to throw my computer out the window. BUT. I'm patient, I try again.
Apparently, I have used up all my credit card authorizations for today.
Imagine a small nuclear bomb ticking closer and closer to critical mass in the upstairs wardroom of Clark Hall. This is but a fraction of my emotional fury.
But I calm. I am the warm center of the universe. I am the eye of the storm.
And then I check my bank account... And the bomb goes off.
Apparently I have ordered the same item, this stupid fucking KUKRI, not one, not two, not three, but FOUR TIMES. I have a total of about thirty dollars in my account, where there was once around two hundred and fifty. I exist in a world of RAGE.
Sigh. I am calm. I am centered. I am going to call up everyone at this fucking store and CALMLY tear their arms and legs off. We'll see how they fix their computer order taking system when their fingers are shoved into every available orifice. The new nickname for their customer service department will be "Department Stumpy."
Jasmine will get her Kukri. But it might come slightly used.
That is all.
-Doug
"It is my fondest desire to bust a host of caps into a multitude of asses."
-Fables 'March of the Wooden Soldiers'
Last night, while on watch, I decided that I'd finally get around to buying Jasmine's birthday present. She already knows what it is, so I don't feel bad posting about it.
Apparently ever since she saw Resident Evil 3, Jasmine has wanted a Kukri Machete, just like the ones that Alice uses in the movie to deal death to stinky zombies. Kukri's have a long and rather interesting history, most of it bloody. It is essentially a Nepalise tool/weapon knife, similar to the pukko in that it can be used for gutting recently killed game... or gutting your neighbor when he looks funny at your sister.
So, I did some research. I asked Sgt. Google about Kukri's. I asked Sgt. Google about Gurkhas, a type British colonial infantry that used Kukris. I asked my brother about his Kukri.
Finally, I looked online for some Kukri's. I found a really nice one at Cheaperthandirt.com, a shooting/survivalist/hunting website that has a pretty good reputation.
So, imagine me, bored out of my mind on watch in the wardroom, surfing the internet and watching Burn Notice. I realize that I have yet to buy Jasmine's birthday present. Even though her birthday was the day before. Whoops. Well, the plan was to give it to her on spring break anyway. Still, I decided I should probably get on it.
So I whip out the trusty Gold debit card and fill out an account and go through the relatively simple process of buying shit online. And then I click "Purchase."
And nothing happens.
Meh, whatever, it must be user error, right? I go back, make sure all my contact info is correct, and click again.
And nothing happens.
A third time. This time a little message pops up and tells me I've messed up the order process.
I have the sudden and violent urge to throw my computer out the window. BUT. I'm patient, I try again.
Apparently, I have used up all my credit card authorizations for today.
Imagine a small nuclear bomb ticking closer and closer to critical mass in the upstairs wardroom of Clark Hall. This is but a fraction of my emotional fury.
But I calm. I am the warm center of the universe. I am the eye of the storm.
And then I check my bank account... And the bomb goes off.
Apparently I have ordered the same item, this stupid fucking KUKRI, not one, not two, not three, but FOUR TIMES. I have a total of about thirty dollars in my account, where there was once around two hundred and fifty. I exist in a world of RAGE.
Sigh. I am calm. I am centered. I am going to call up everyone at this fucking store and CALMLY tear their arms and legs off. We'll see how they fix their computer order taking system when their fingers are shoved into every available orifice. The new nickname for their customer service department will be "Department Stumpy."
Jasmine will get her Kukri. But it might come slightly used.
That is all.
-Doug
"It is my fondest desire to bust a host of caps into a multitude of asses."
-Fables 'March of the Wooden Soldiers'
Monday, March 8, 2010
Doug: Hold the Line
Ivan (Breaker) Zeitzev stood immobile as a statue, his massive armored form blocking the small entryway to the Well of Souls. Around his massive armored feet were scattered the remains of other armor suits, shell casings, and other detritus of battle. The ornate entryway behind him had been damaged beyond repair. Cracks now ran through the alien script and pictographs, chunks of the archway itself had fallen off and now lay haphazardly in the battle zone.
Across from where Breaker held the line, a mass of possessed Athenian Armored Infantry stood. Unholy darkness streamed out of the cracks in their armor, twisting into waving masses of unnatural shapes with hungry mouths and sharp teeth. Some of their faceplates were either clear or simply torn off, and Breaker could see the insanity filled eyes slowly dripping blood. At least forty mad voices babbled words that not human could ever speak, much less understood.
Breaker had been mercilessly tearing apart anything that approached the entrance he was guarding using everything from his arm mounted machine gun to pieces of Athenian soldiers as clubs. Now there was a lull in the action. Inside his armor, Breaker heaved deep, gasping breaths, adrenaline catching up to him. There was pain too. The darkness erupting out of the tortured bodies of the Athenians was taking its toll on him. The tentacles with mouths tore straight through his armor like so much paper. Even with the subspace shields The Light had put on his armor, he could feel them sapping his will and tearing at the edges of his mind.
Trying to drive me crazy? He thought, Is too bad I am already there.
A burst of static in his radio caught his attention. “Still alive out there?” Brand’s voice was filled with the tight knowledge that his rearguard may indeed have been killed. Behind his voice was the sounds of battle inside The Well.
“I live Captain. Many have fallen trying to take the entry, but still I hold.” He hesitated, “It does not go well inside?” This would have been over much sooner if it had.
Brand ducked a wild swing from a possessed Royal Guard and then dropped him with a blast from his arm mounted chaingun. “No. It does not go well.” He glanced over to where Diana was simultaneously fighting five Warrior suits. He could see the men inside them thrash and snarl with the madness of being fully possessed by The Dark. Bubbling pitch now streamed from their eyes in rivulets as Dark manifested itself fully.
“I will hold.”Breaker’s voice was serene. “You must get The White to the Altar.”
“That all depends on the girl. Can you hold?” Brand’s suit mounted 67mm mortar completely obliterated body of a Warrior making a suicide run for Juliette. Juliette herself crouched on the ground, muttering strange words in the language of the First Ones.
“I will hold until I can no longer draw breath. Then I will hold until my eyes cannot see. And then I will hold until my arms cannot lift my weapons. Until these monsters swim over my destroyed corpse, I will hold.” Ivan Zeitzev, known to his friends as “Breaker”, declared. “I will hold, Captain Constantine Brand. I will buy you the time you need to end this.”
Brand accepted this answer with the leader’s knowledge that this kind of loyalty could not be bought or coerced. “Hold out a little bit longer Breaker. We’re going to finish this fight.”
Breaker heard the radio click off and refocused on the Athenians in front of him. Their numbers had more than doubled. Still, it was not the possessed Athenians that made Breaker fear for his promise to Brand; it was the nightmare beast they brought with them.
At least two and a half meters long, the pure black thing looked like a large reptile that had been mutated and then half melted. Oozing pustules erupted and reformed, and even through his filters Breaker could smell the stench it gave off. There were too many legs with too many claws, and a mouth with far too many teeth. He locked eyes with it, Dark brown boring into merciless evil darkness deeper than any black hole.
It snarled and emitted a scream that caused the foundations of The Well to crumble. It was then that Breaker first suspected he would die in this crusade.
Still, the armored man stood his ground against the many and snarled back, issuing his own challenge. “I AM IVAN ZEITZEV!!! I AM THE LAST CITIZEN OF KIEV! I HAVE BEEN HUNTED ACROSS THE STARS BY MONSTERS UNIMAGINABLE! I HAVE SEEN THE LOST CITY OF THE OLD ONES, AND SPOKEN WITH THE WHITE ITSELF! I HAVE FOUGHT DEMONS AND DEMI-GODS AND DEFEATED THEM ALL! MY CAPTAIN HAS ASKED ME TO HOLD THIS GROUND, AND BY ALL GODS LIGHT AND DARK I WILL!”
He drew the Corusca Sword given to him by Gabriel, Keeper of the White’s City. “Come Fell Beast. I am ready.”
“A thousand years from now what will be remembered is that few stood against many, and were willing to die to save the future."
-Anon
Across from where Breaker held the line, a mass of possessed Athenian Armored Infantry stood. Unholy darkness streamed out of the cracks in their armor, twisting into waving masses of unnatural shapes with hungry mouths and sharp teeth. Some of their faceplates were either clear or simply torn off, and Breaker could see the insanity filled eyes slowly dripping blood. At least forty mad voices babbled words that not human could ever speak, much less understood.
Breaker had been mercilessly tearing apart anything that approached the entrance he was guarding using everything from his arm mounted machine gun to pieces of Athenian soldiers as clubs. Now there was a lull in the action. Inside his armor, Breaker heaved deep, gasping breaths, adrenaline catching up to him. There was pain too. The darkness erupting out of the tortured bodies of the Athenians was taking its toll on him. The tentacles with mouths tore straight through his armor like so much paper. Even with the subspace shields The Light had put on his armor, he could feel them sapping his will and tearing at the edges of his mind.
Trying to drive me crazy? He thought, Is too bad I am already there.
A burst of static in his radio caught his attention. “Still alive out there?” Brand’s voice was filled with the tight knowledge that his rearguard may indeed have been killed. Behind his voice was the sounds of battle inside The Well.
“I live Captain. Many have fallen trying to take the entry, but still I hold.” He hesitated, “It does not go well inside?” This would have been over much sooner if it had.
Brand ducked a wild swing from a possessed Royal Guard and then dropped him with a blast from his arm mounted chaingun. “No. It does not go well.” He glanced over to where Diana was simultaneously fighting five Warrior suits. He could see the men inside them thrash and snarl with the madness of being fully possessed by The Dark. Bubbling pitch now streamed from their eyes in rivulets as Dark manifested itself fully.
“I will hold.”Breaker’s voice was serene. “You must get The White to the Altar.”
“That all depends on the girl. Can you hold?” Brand’s suit mounted 67mm mortar completely obliterated body of a Warrior making a suicide run for Juliette. Juliette herself crouched on the ground, muttering strange words in the language of the First Ones.
“I will hold until I can no longer draw breath. Then I will hold until my eyes cannot see. And then I will hold until my arms cannot lift my weapons. Until these monsters swim over my destroyed corpse, I will hold.” Ivan Zeitzev, known to his friends as “Breaker”, declared. “I will hold, Captain Constantine Brand. I will buy you the time you need to end this.”
Brand accepted this answer with the leader’s knowledge that this kind of loyalty could not be bought or coerced. “Hold out a little bit longer Breaker. We’re going to finish this fight.”
Breaker heard the radio click off and refocused on the Athenians in front of him. Their numbers had more than doubled. Still, it was not the possessed Athenians that made Breaker fear for his promise to Brand; it was the nightmare beast they brought with them.
At least two and a half meters long, the pure black thing looked like a large reptile that had been mutated and then half melted. Oozing pustules erupted and reformed, and even through his filters Breaker could smell the stench it gave off. There were too many legs with too many claws, and a mouth with far too many teeth. He locked eyes with it, Dark brown boring into merciless evil darkness deeper than any black hole.
It snarled and emitted a scream that caused the foundations of The Well to crumble. It was then that Breaker first suspected he would die in this crusade.
Still, the armored man stood his ground against the many and snarled back, issuing his own challenge. “I AM IVAN ZEITZEV!!! I AM THE LAST CITIZEN OF KIEV! I HAVE BEEN HUNTED ACROSS THE STARS BY MONSTERS UNIMAGINABLE! I HAVE SEEN THE LOST CITY OF THE OLD ONES, AND SPOKEN WITH THE WHITE ITSELF! I HAVE FOUGHT DEMONS AND DEMI-GODS AND DEFEATED THEM ALL! MY CAPTAIN HAS ASKED ME TO HOLD THIS GROUND, AND BY ALL GODS LIGHT AND DARK I WILL!”
He drew the Corusca Sword given to him by Gabriel, Keeper of the White’s City. “Come Fell Beast. I am ready.”
“A thousand years from now what will be remembered is that few stood against many, and were willing to die to save the future."
-Anon
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Meghan: Token
Shivers ran up her arms and she rubbed at the goose bumps that rippled across her skin. Letting out a breathe she leaned against the wall and stared into space. The loss and pain of the room bit at her soul like ice, she could practically see the waves of emotion clouding the air above the bent heads and hunched shoulders that crowded the room. When would it end? The waiting was worse than if something awful would just happen already. That last thread of hope that barely floated within each of them brought on a pain worse than death. Eyes downcast, she shuffled her way to the desk that they all made their way to.
“Name?”
“Valentine.”
“Life?”
She blinked at the shrewish woman clutching the endless paperwork, “My life? Well I—“
“Good or bad.” The woman said shortly, “Nothing else.”
“Oh. Good?”
“Hmmm…” the woman eyed her doubtfully over the edge of her glasses, “Fine, take this.” And passed her a dove.
The living bird fluttered in Valentine’s hands and she pressed it to her chest, uncertain. No one else had birds; she had seen many different tokens; gold coins, rubix cubes, paperclips, but no birds.
“Next.” The woman said dully, looking down at her papers once more.
“Ah…” Valentine murmured in a questioning tone.
“Next.” The woman’s voice had a faint growl to it. Valentine rushed away from her desk with her dove.
“Pretty bird.” A voice hissed in her ear and she turned to it, startled. The man it belonged to grinned, showing cracked teeth.
“Wanna trade?” He held up a golden coin and waved it back and forth so it caught the light.
“N-no thank you.” She said and clutched the dove tighter, backing away. She hit the wall and tried to slide down it through the crowds of people but she was stuck. With a gasp she fell through sludge that had once been a wall. She reached towards the familiar light of the room but she was falling with her bird flapping angrily in her arms. She landed with a soft thump in another room where everything was colored in soft gray tones. She curled her legs under her and looked around for whatever happened next.
“Get up stupid; you’re not broken are you?” Valentine looked to the voice to see a little girl perched on a soft dark-gray easy chair, swinging her legs back and forth. Valentine just gaped wordlessly and clutched at the bird in her arms. The little girl’s eyes lit up at the angry coos of the dove.
“You’re one of those?” she clapped her hands in delight, “They haven’t sent me one in ages I thought you were dying out.”
“One what?” Valentine asked. But the girl just plopped down beside her and held out her hands for the bird.
“Let me see.”
Valentine handed over the dove without thinking about it. Unlike with the man in the waiting room there was no threat here.
“Ooohh pretty thing.” The girl purred to the dove. She looked at Valentine with bright, interested eyes, “So would you like to know your fate?”
“Yes please.” Valentine said in relief, finally someone would tell her.
“You’re going to be an angel.”
Valentine blinked, “Ah…”
“Yep, wings, battling evil, protect the good, that whole thing.”
Valentine winced at the description and the thought that it was possible. It was just too…cliché? Unbelievable? She almost preferred the waiting room to this one where creepy little girls told her crazy things.
“I am not creepy.” The girl said grumpily.
Valentine didn’t reply, her tolerance for weird was close to gone.
“Well then you’re not going to like this.” The little girl said and threw the dove into the ceiling. It pushed out its flat surface in a way similar to the putty-wall, creating a tunnel.
“Up you go.” The girl said, beaming.
“This is not happening.” Valentine breathed as she stared at the ceiling.
“Whatever makes you feel better.” The little girl said.
The gentle sucking that Valentine had felt from the tunnel turned into a roaring vacuum. She swirled into the air and heard the girl call after her.
“Come visit when your training is done! Kill a demon for me, one with lots of horns!”
Valentine opened her mouth to reply but the ceiling putty slid over her mouth and eyes, pulling her up and away.
-Meghan
“Name?”
“Valentine.”
“Life?”
She blinked at the shrewish woman clutching the endless paperwork, “My life? Well I—“
“Good or bad.” The woman said shortly, “Nothing else.”
“Oh. Good?”
“Hmmm…” the woman eyed her doubtfully over the edge of her glasses, “Fine, take this.” And passed her a dove.
The living bird fluttered in Valentine’s hands and she pressed it to her chest, uncertain. No one else had birds; she had seen many different tokens; gold coins, rubix cubes, paperclips, but no birds.
“Next.” The woman said dully, looking down at her papers once more.
“Ah…” Valentine murmured in a questioning tone.
“Next.” The woman’s voice had a faint growl to it. Valentine rushed away from her desk with her dove.
“Pretty bird.” A voice hissed in her ear and she turned to it, startled. The man it belonged to grinned, showing cracked teeth.
“Wanna trade?” He held up a golden coin and waved it back and forth so it caught the light.
“N-no thank you.” She said and clutched the dove tighter, backing away. She hit the wall and tried to slide down it through the crowds of people but she was stuck. With a gasp she fell through sludge that had once been a wall. She reached towards the familiar light of the room but she was falling with her bird flapping angrily in her arms. She landed with a soft thump in another room where everything was colored in soft gray tones. She curled her legs under her and looked around for whatever happened next.
“Get up stupid; you’re not broken are you?” Valentine looked to the voice to see a little girl perched on a soft dark-gray easy chair, swinging her legs back and forth. Valentine just gaped wordlessly and clutched at the bird in her arms. The little girl’s eyes lit up at the angry coos of the dove.
“You’re one of those?” she clapped her hands in delight, “They haven’t sent me one in ages I thought you were dying out.”
“One what?” Valentine asked. But the girl just plopped down beside her and held out her hands for the bird.
“Let me see.”
Valentine handed over the dove without thinking about it. Unlike with the man in the waiting room there was no threat here.
“Ooohh pretty thing.” The girl purred to the dove. She looked at Valentine with bright, interested eyes, “So would you like to know your fate?”
“Yes please.” Valentine said in relief, finally someone would tell her.
“You’re going to be an angel.”
Valentine blinked, “Ah…”
“Yep, wings, battling evil, protect the good, that whole thing.”
Valentine winced at the description and the thought that it was possible. It was just too…cliché? Unbelievable? She almost preferred the waiting room to this one where creepy little girls told her crazy things.
“I am not creepy.” The girl said grumpily.
Valentine didn’t reply, her tolerance for weird was close to gone.
“Well then you’re not going to like this.” The little girl said and threw the dove into the ceiling. It pushed out its flat surface in a way similar to the putty-wall, creating a tunnel.
“Up you go.” The girl said, beaming.
“This is not happening.” Valentine breathed as she stared at the ceiling.
“Whatever makes you feel better.” The little girl said.
The gentle sucking that Valentine had felt from the tunnel turned into a roaring vacuum. She swirled into the air and heard the girl call after her.
“Come visit when your training is done! Kill a demon for me, one with lots of horns!”
Valentine opened her mouth to reply but the ceiling putty slid over her mouth and eyes, pulling her up and away.
-Meghan
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