Doug: GET SOME!

Dear Reader,

No, this post does not refer to the fact that It's been quite some time since I've managed to get a woman in bed. Nor have I finally scored with said nonexistant woman. No, today's post, like most posts, is about the Marines. Get Some.

I'm currently sitting down in my closet of a dorm room, dressed in quite possibly my favorite thing to wear, ever. That's right, I'm in camoflauge. I <3 camoflauge. Wearing camoflauge is just the kind of thing that makes me think that I'm Mad Fuckin' Dangerous. This is a fact that intellectually, I always know, but it's nice to have the outside mirror the in.

We, meaning the UW Marine options, have just completed the combat fitness test. The CFT was desingned to test Marines fitness level in simulated combat environment. Now, saying this, I know you're all expecting me to start talking about a screaming DI yelling at us, with fake rifle rounds going off above our heads and having to dodge through barbed wire fences, all while flashbangs are going off.

I wish.

No, the CFT consists of a half mile run, after which you do a 2 minute max repetitions 30 pound ammo can deadlift from your shoulders. After that is the movement to combat.

Everything before the movement to combat is pretty standard physical standards assessment bullshit, but the movement to combat is something pretty unique. It starts off with a thirty yard sprint, after which you j hook around a cone, drop the deck and high crawl another 20 yeards. after that you bear crawl another 20. After that you run in a snaking pattern through some cones, where you reach a simulated casualty. you must drag the casualty through the snake cones, then pick him up and carry him back to the start.

But wait, there's more.

At the start you must then pick up a pair of 30 pound ammo cans, run back through the whole course, throw a grenade where you actually have to hit the target, (no, the grenades don't explode, once again, I wish)do three push ups, then pick up the ammo cans and run back.

Then you're done.

I'll give you a hint: if you're not exhausted after this little game, you're either a god, like SSGT Martinez, who got the best score and still had the energy to ream someone out for forgetting his cover, or you did it wrong.

I scored well. The only people that beat my movement to combat were the hardened Marines in the unit, the prior enlisted guys. You know what? That's okay with me, these guys have actually seen combat, so I'm all right with that. My run score was average, and my deadlift score was okay too.

The moral of this story is though, I eat this shit up. I can't wait to be an actual Marine, I have the best job in the world.

-Doug

"We aren't worthy to watch him PT."
Donte Larry, On watching Staff Seargent do the Movement to Combat course.