That guy: has something to say.

One more post about music and I’m going to shoot myself.

Even with Sarah’s desperate plea for us (or more specifically me) to write, I find myself lost in a sea of work and dull drudgery. In the few and far between moments when something writeable strikes me, I’m consumed by other things. I mull it over, compose in my head, and by the time I can sit down, uninterrupted, to carve my thoughts, it looses oomph, and drifts into the realm of mediocrity and nonexistence. I have at least half a dozen posts partially finished floating around on my computer, and in my email. And they will never be posted, because once I lose it, it’s really gone. It annoys me, but I think it helps me improve what I do write, as little as that may be. That being said, onwards.


As you all know, I go through infatuations with music. I hear something, and listen to it nonstop until the next thing comes along. The newest one is the song ‘The Devil Cried’ by Black Sabbath. The bonecrushing riffs blew me away the first time I heard it. I’m a huge Sabbath fan, but haven’t really heard any of their new stuff. (TDC is from 2007). Now, I’ve been humming the melody for the past few days, and decided that I need to own the CD, so I can play it in my car, because I have the internet in my room and at work, which is where I spend most of my time anyways. With the addition of this CD, I can listen to it on the go. This is where the story starts to get interesting.

I decided after hearing it on the radio, and listening to it on the Internet for the rest of the evening, that I should go get it after work. This was the first opportunity I’ve had in a while. What you guys might not know is this.

I’ve recently become involved with an organization called Threadspace. Being who I am, and knowing whom I know, which is EVERYONE (even still), I’ve actually known most of these people for a while. I’ve even known the building where we meet. It’s right next to my dentist, and for the longest time, I’ve always wondered what that building was used for.

It’s an organization of artists. They put on shows, play music, do their various forms of art, and have a good time. I was invited to attend a show, but had a prior commitment, so I didn’t make it until late. I ended up staying till 1:30 in the morning discussing plans for the next show, and the future of Threadspace. I’m essentially management now. Because of where I work, I get access to lots of machines that make designing, printing, and creating flyers and posters very easy. I created the flyer for our upcoming event, and doing that, I spent the last few nights out till the wee hours of the morning. Like I said, tonight was the first free night I’ve had.

So I was driving, and decided that instead of Borders, because they charge you more than an executive prostitute, I would go to Hastings. I walked in, and noticed that they had a Rock Band 2 demo set up. Although I prefer the ACTUAL guitar, those games are still pretty fun, and I’m decent enough to have a good time playing without smashing your TV in a fury of plastic and anger. I made a mental note to go back and play after I accomplished my mission, for which nothing would distract me. I charged to the CD section, and after being dismayed that they had rearranged the store AGAIN (seriously, more changes that Michael Jackson’s appearance), I found where I was going. It took a moment to find it, but the Black Sabbath section was littered with goodies. And then the thing I liked about Hastings most came back to me. They mix the used CD’s in with the new. You can compare prices without moving to a new section. And I found what I was looking for. Used. For waaaaaaaay cheaper then I was expecting. It rocked. I did a little dance, right there. In between rock/pop and whatever else was there. Michael Fucking Flatley Pfeffer. And I meandered back towards Rock Band. I waited as two retarded, useless cholos failed miserably, and after they left, plastic guitar in hand, I rocked. A few songs later, realizing that I was pushing plastic buttons on the middle of a sales floor, I wandered off to see if I couldn’t find a cheap movie as well.


Sidetrack time.

The World of Warcraft expansion comes out tomorrow. Fanboys have been preparing for days, hoarding Mountain Dew, Cheetos, and spare pairs of underwear, so that when they shit themselves at how fucking awesome the game is, they can do something about it. I hate WOW. It has caused Blizzard to ruin an absolutely outstanding franchise, and do their best to help mess up the other 2 that made them the company they are.

I was watching a video from an author I really like, and in the corner of his website, because he writes about video games, was a countdown for WOW. It was at zero days and some number of hours and minutes. I was like, ‘Wait…………………….how can it be zero days till it comes out?’ and realized that in all my wisdom and glory……………… I’m an idiot. Coming out on 11/13/08 means that it doesn’t come out on 11/12/08. Duh.

Anyways, I let it slip my mind, because fuck WOW.

This is how I came across my inspiration. Close your eyes, and imagine, if you will, Tommy Lister, from one of my previous posts. But change his name to Mr. Inspiration. Now, give him a bat the size of a zanbatou, and name it The Subject. And finally, send yourself down a dark alley, and get the ever loving fuck smashed out of you by The Subject of Inspiration. This happened to me.


How?

I was browsing the sale racks for a movie to watch before bed, and had just squatted down to read the back of a zombie collection when I heard the familiar crackle of someone about to speak on an overhead PA system. In order for this to work, imagine the voice coming out of the loudspeaker as the voice of God speaking to you. Seriously. It helps.

“Attention Hastings customers. It is now 10:00.”

Fuck, I thought. They’re closing, and I need to not find a movie, and go check out. Damnit.


“Due to the midnight release party of World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King……..”

FUCK YOU, I don’t wanna get kicked out of the store so that ¼ of a fat tub of shit can fit in here.

“We are doing a two hour sale. Everything used, including CD’s, books, and movies is going to be 30% off until midnight.”

FUCK OF…………………….. wait, what? Seriously? Hold on a second…….. the CD I’m getting is used! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

This scene involves me shooting my hands up in the air so hard that the CD actually launched upwards in my glee. I managed to catch it on the way down.

This blew my mind. My originally only $8.49 CD was now even more only $6.64. And………… oh shit…………. They said movies too…………. I’m trying to find a movie…………………

For the second time that night, in a public place, in the middle of display shelves, I was the Lord of the Fucking Dance.

Needless to say, I found a few movies to tack on.



The moral of the story? Don’t ever set a guideline on what can inspire you.











































Are all the easily offended people and parents gone? Good. Enough of that sappy crap.
The real moral of the story is that even if you’re staying out till 3:26 in the morning drinking Red Bull and eating pancakes with smokin’ bitches, you can always find heavy metal to corrupt you further. No matter how far gone the world thinks you are, the Satanic forces known as rock and roll will always, always make you want to punch small babies and push elderly ladies over when they’re crossing the street.

This is where you need to picture Gene Simmons doing the tongue thing, and throwing up his horns.

-/m/



Like that.


P.S. Here’s a link for the poster.

http://s94.photobucket.com/albums/l103/cheesecows666/?action=view¤t=mallratsflyer2copy.jpg


Love you all.