Jasmine: Cockroaches

"Will you feed the outside cats?" Damn him. It's not that I'm doing myspace, though it's that too. It's the cockroaches, invisible cretins in the night.

And it's him. He knows that I can't turn him down once he's asked. He knows I want to, but I won't for fear of appearing as callous as I truly feel. I won't blow my cover as slim as it is, I can't. And so I prepare to venture forth.

Double damn, he must plan this I swear. The cat's food pail is empty. So now, not only do I have to play with the evil many legged fiends, my hands will now smell like cat food until the day I die. I'll have to plot my revenge later, now I have to stop complaining about it and just do it.

The outside light is on. In fact both outside lights are on. I couldn't possibly get anymore light out there unless I brought a flashlight. Please don't joke because I'm sorely tempted. But instead I brave the semi-dark with the bucket at my side.

Down the first stretch of side walk, there are no roaches yet. I turn on my weapon and snatch it up from the grass, eyes flicking back and forth among the blades, searching for movement. That's how you find them. In the dark you can't see their chocolate hides, but sometimes you can catch the ground moving and you know they're there.

I inch closer and turn the nozzle onto shower, it gives the best spray. All around the food dishes I check for them. Four… five… six! Oh shit. I quickly switch to jet and start punishing the interlopers. Zing! Bash! They flee for cover. Unfortunately cover is the grass where I am… yikes! I move to the gravel ignoring the ones on the wall. If they're on the wall they can't hurt me, or so I tell myself. Besides if I shoot them off the wall then they'll be on the ground and at least I can see them on the wall.

I pour in the food spilling more into the useless tray of water than I get in the dish. But I don't care. Fill up their water dish and I'm done. I can dash back to safety. I don't look until I've closed and locked the door behind me when I turn just in time to see two cats racing for the food.

It is in that moment that I'm rewarded. Though I'm still pissed. It didn't have to be me out there in the dark with the roaches. It could have been someone else, someone who wasn't afraid. Damn him for sending me to potential doom. Damn her for daring to scold me, tell me that I should have cleaned the tray. Damn those roaches, damn them all except for the kitties, I like the kitties. So fluffy, so cute.


“Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most.”
-Joseph Wood Krutch quotes