Jasmine: Roxanne... sort of

His eyes upon your face. My imagination is a terrible mad thing. It’s a horrible inconsiderate bane of my existence. It sees me here walking by myself and it takes the opportunity to play tricks on me. Evil creative demon. Pictures flit through my mind, his hand upon your hand. Cruel hateful parasite. It lives inside me, it has to. Otherwise it wouldn’t have access to my deepest fears, his lips caress your skin. Why would it do something like this to its own host? Shouldn’t it show me good things to keep me happy, satisfied? Unless…

It's more than I can stand. Where are you? You should have been back by now. You should have come home hours ago. And all I can think about is you in someone else’s arms. It doesn’t matter what you said. It doesn’t matter what you promised. Because the truth is I don’t trust you.

Why does my heart cry? How can I love you if I don’t trust you? Too many feelings I can't fight, but would if I could. If I could stop loving you life would be easier, wouldn’t it? Or is that just my self-cruelty sabotaging everything I could have. Let me tell you this, if you ever want to you're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me. I love you. But if you don’t love me… let me know and let me go. It will hurt. I have no delusions about this. It will hurt to lose you, and please believe me when I say I love you, but sometimes the best thing to do is to let the people you love go.