Jasmine: is this really happening? yes i think it is

This is my first blog. Way to state the obvious Jasmine. Back to the point.

When (I forget who, it was probably Doug) first brought the idea of a blog to the group, I was all for it. It sounded like the perfect way to keep in touch with all of you who keep abandoning us. That is, apart from the zombie project, this is sorely lagging. (I don’t remember who is next, does anyone?) However almost immediately I foundered on the blog front. I don’t keep actual diaries. I very rarely write about my life or my thoughts on life. And when I do I tend to use a different alphabet or a combination of them so that no one can read it. If I could I would never write these thoughts down. But sometimes you can’t help it, you need to vent, and writing does that for me.

I have two reasons for not journaling or in this case blogging. One they’re my thoughts. Mine. They belong in my head where they can be carefully controlled by me and me only. I worry about what someone out there could do with my thoughts, or what my thoughts would do with someone. Dangerous things they are. Two, who would be interested, maybe my friends to an extent. But I can’t think of anyone else. I read one other blog. It belongs to an author that I obsess about. I read her blog to find out how far she is into the next book. I want to know to the day how long I’m going to have to wait before I get to hold it. Yes I need help. But mostly her blog is filled with mundane things I have to slog through to get what I really want. I don’t want to write a blog people have to pick and choose through.

Today I’ve decided to screw all that to hell. I need to vent. I don’t want to call anyone, I want to write. The days I write the most tend to be shittiest days. But I’m not going to write about today. Today was stupid for no reason other than me being stupid. I’m going to write about a couple of days ago. Something happened to me, well to me and one other person who, for now, I’m going to call Cricket. The name makes sense if you know him, sort of, well it makes sense to me at least. My post, my mental connections.

I met up with Cricket around five, five-thirtyish, he picked me up from my parent’s house and we went on our merry way to see Hancock. I’d never seen Hancock before. Hancock is amazing. Will smith is hot with his clothes burning off of him. Go Sarah, I’ll hold him down while you take him in the dark. Woot! From there we went to Corey’s birthday party. Didn’t get him a present. Corey’s a creep, always will be in my book. He stared in my window one night for long enough that I slept in the living room. He’s a creep. But there were people there that I missed. Snooze, Jared, I miss you guys. Anyways, the party was fun, praying mantises kept appearing and trying to live in the house which was ok with me, it’s not like they wouldn’t find things to eat. We left the party eventually and headed back to my dorm.

All of that was really unnecessary and just an exposition leading up to the actual story. Here’s the actual story.

So we get into my dorm at around eleven thirty. My late flatmate Diana was in the kitchen making pizza with two former people who were her friends. We make polite conversation, tell a few stories. Another of my flatmates arrives looking like the walking dead only more tired. We too are tired and excuse ourselves to my room. I’m not going to say we tried to go directly to sleep. Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t. Use your imagination how you like it, it’s one of the few things I can’t control in this world. But eventually we did try to sleep. Try I say because due to Diana and her friends we couldn’t. They were too loud. We tossed, we turned we talked, we grumbled, we plotted her death and the deaths of everyone she knows and loves. I went to the bathroom and got them to turn down the movie they were watching. Let me just say that I no longer like 21. It did nothing. I think I got some sleep in there somewhere. Maybe. It was kind of a blur. Cricket didn’t fare any better. Every once in a while I would poke him to see how he was getting on with sleep. This is the kind of person I am. I like to know if the people I care about are comfortable. Or in this case more comfortable than I was. Anyways I would poke him and he would entertain me.

Jasmine: (poke) you asleep?
Cricket: Mooshu what time is it?
Jasmine: (pauses) did you just ask Mooshu what time it was?
Cricket: huh? Yeah, I thought he was on the floor.

In case you didn’t get that Mooshu is another code name, it is. Example 2:

Jasmine: (poke) you asleep?
Cricket: Hang on, which slice is my father?
Jasmine goes back to sleep

It was off and on like this till past four thirty which was the last time I looked at the clock.

My dorm room has two temperatures. Too warm and too cold. Here we were, curled around each other, listening to Diana and her demonic spawn hack their lungs out laughing, exhausted beyond thought, and it was hot. I remember mumbling something about the air conditioner before we ended up on the floor with all the blankets. Then the floor wasn’t comfortable, so we turned the air conditioning up and got back on the bunk. Seriously, thinking straight doesn’t work that early in the morning.

Sometime that night Diana exorcised the evil ones or we fell asleep despite them. I had some rather disturbing dreams about Greece and Germany and then we woke up at ten. We talked more about killing Diana and then fell back asleep. At eleven we were up for good. And ready for a shower.

We collect our supplies, I load cricket up with my shower basket and he hobbles over there barely able to take the weight of it. I wrap a towel around myself and close the door on my way out. I close the door. Closed door. Door, keys, locked, oh shit.

“You ok?” he asks this because I’m banging my head into the door repeatedly. “I closed the door.” he laughs a little. I narrow my eyes in his general direction. “You have to admit it is a little funny.” “Your keys are in there too you know.” “Oh shit.” Now he was worried.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t call my RA phone was in my room. Everything was in my room. My clothes were in my room. Cricket’s clothes were in my room. We were standing in my living room with nothing but towels and some shampoo. Yes it was a little funny. Yes I tried to pick the lock with a fork. No it didn’t work. So I knocked on Diana’s door.

“Diana? Diana? I locked myself out of my room, can I borrow your phone.” I figured she kept us up last night, she deserved to be punished. So when she opened the door I pushed past her and threw her against the TV hard. She hit her head and rolled over moaning. Then I grabbed a pair of jeans from her closet and wrapped one pant leg around her neck, holding her there a good three minutes after she’d stopped thrashing. Rewrapping the towel around myself I grabbed her phone and headed into the kitchen where my RA’s phone number was posted on the fridge.

He didn’t answer. Luis is a useless human being.

“Fuck this, let’s take a shower.” Well said cricket.

We showered, it was glorious, an escape from the troubles of our haunted world. Half way through we both burst out laughing because it really was just too funny. We dried off and went back into the living room having accomplished a great deal I think. I called Luis again and this time he picked up. Hurrah for Luis, unfortunately he did not have an extra set of keys. The Coronado desk had my extra set of keys. This is because Luis is a useless human being.

Raven picked now to arrive back from I think her boyfriends. She sleeps there a good portion of the week, which is irrelevant, because all that was relevant was that Raven had clothes, which I borrowed to go to the Coronado desk to get to my clothes.

Thus the story is ended. Both Cricket and I were not forced into too much humiliation for my very, very avoidable mistake. I’m going to make an extra set of keys and hide them in various places. Diana’s body hasn’t yet begun to smell. But eventually it will. I’m not sure what I will do when that happens, I’m open to suggestions.

That took way too long to write, but I feel much better. I need to do some homework now.