Doug: Culture.

Dear Readers,

Last night I had two very opposite cultural experiences in the space of about three hours. At around 1700 last night I was facing what promised to be a rather dull evening. I was even considering getting some homework done. Yeah. That didn't happen.

My first call was from a girl up here, "Charity". She and a group of others that I know were planning on dinner in the restaurant below where I live. I eagerly agreed to meet them there, seeing as I didn't and still don't want to do homework. But, as it happens, they were delayed, and just before my lonely meal, I received a call from my brother.

This is not an unusual occurrence on a weekend, but was still a pleasant surprise. I like hearing from my brother. He had an interesting proposition for me. To go see a ballet. Apparently through a series of unfortunate events the people he was supposed to go with ended up canceling on him and the first person he thought of was me. I quickly agreed, for two reasons, one, my friends weren't eating with me yet, and two, they hadn't told me they were going to see Eagle Eye later. 'Cause they don't tell me shit.

So, naturally, my brother and I hastened to see this ballet. He came to pick me up from my dorm and I quickly shrugged on my suit. Now, allow me to talk about my suit for a moment. Because my suit is a world of pleasure unto itself.

The suit was picked up early on in my Junior year of high school. It was a suit specifically designed to make me look good in every possible manner. This was insured by the presence of my girlfriend at the time, who told me that it made her want to tear it off me right then and there and get down to business in the middle of the suit shop. Yeah, it's a good suit.

First, it's pinstripe, and this is the only portion of the suit that I personally would have insisted on, and did. I think pinstripes are awesome, because guys like Tony Soprano wear pinstripe suits. And guys like Tony Soprano are some legit shit.

Next, it has suspenders. I don't know why, but suspenders drive girls wild. Take note guys, wearing a suit with suspenders makes getting girls almost too easy. Like taking candy from a baby, and then eating it. The baby, not the candy.

Heh heh.

The shirt that goes under the suit is variable. I personally favor either a solid black or a solid white. Solid white reinforces the mobster subliminal messaging, but solid black makes you look like Johnny Cash, who is quite possibly the most awesome man ever. Likewise, a tie can either be worn or ignored, depending on how much you want to dress up. I tend to favor black ties, but have been known to dabble with silver and green.

Lastly shoes. I love dress shoes. I love having to shine them for some reason, perhaps because it would be the one thing on my suit I actually have to put work into to make it look good. My dress shoes are black leather, nothing else is particularly exceptional on the exterior, but don't be fooled by the unexceptional exterior. In the soles are gel packs, just a three inch by two inch rectangle in the soles, but during dances or anytime you have to stand a lot these things save lives. Everyone else bitches about how their shoes are uncomfortable, I can stand around for days on end in my shoes and still smile like a saint when others are in tears. My shoes are the shit.

Now the ballet. Jordan and I were almost late, but we arrived in time to find our seats and bullshit a little before the lights went down. Our ears were immediately assaulted by the powerful and enchanting sounds of Johan Brahms while our eyes were drawn to pirouetting figures dancing all over the stage to music. Their outfits were the bastard stepchildren of medieval minstrels and traditional ballet dress. The actors, fourteen of them, pranced around the stage in ever increasing complexity, again and again impressing us with their flexibility and strength.

As I watched them move, lithe grace and fluidity propelling them through the air, several specimens caught my eyes, and my brother's as well. The women were all beautiful, no contest about that, but their skill level all seemed to be about the same, and i found myself while not unimpressed with them, more impressed with the males. Two stood out in particular.

The first, a tall Asian man who was the lead for the whole act, exhibited perfect form as he twirled his partner, a stunning beauty from Brazil, around the stage in a dance that, while not sensuous, certainly impressive.

The other was medium height African American, and while his skills were impressive, what attracted the most attention to him was his musculature. He was MASSIVE, but not in an obscene way, but while most of the other dancers seemed slight, he seemed like a tank next to them. His fluid muscles allowed him to toss his partner around with seemingly less than minimal effort. One would think that since he was all muscle that he would be clumsy, perhaps too strong for this delicate dance.

Wrong, it was like watching water flow. This incredible specimen showed almost everyone else up with his flexibility and grace and at the end the cheers for him were nearly as loud as those for the lead couple.

The ballet was organized in three acts. The First was Brahms, the next another composer, the music wasn't as exceptional as Brahms, but the story was interesting, it was of a man who had become addicted to drugs and in vocal silence, but a torrent of emotions and sound, the characters in the ballet described with great feeling and complexity the last days of this poor man. It was perhaps one of the most emotional experiences of my life, watching this ballet, and all this without a word being said.

The last was a compilation of almost ballroom dancing to nine Frank Sinatra songs. Frank Sinatra, in case you didn't know, sings about love. I think this was my second favorite next to the story of the man who died of his addiction. I love Sinatra, and his music and the accompanied dancing was way too much fun to be allowed at a formal event.

After the ballet, my brother dropped me off at my dorm and I changed clothes to go hang out with my friends. When I reached the dorm they were hanging out in, a dance party was in full swing. I literally froze for a moment, culture shock nailing my feet to the ground.

I had just gone from Johan Brahms to 50 cent and Ludacris in the space of less than an hour. At first I wondered about the state of our culture, how young people could spend their time grinding up against each other at a dance party while things like ballets were going on.

Then I got into the music, and when I had time to think again I realized that I had had a good time at both events. That both the dance party and the ballet had things to offer me, and I enjoyed both of them almost equally.

I think this speaks if not well then honestly for our culture. On one hand, we can appreciate the subtleties of the complex ballet, but we can change gears and cut loose in another moment. I know I had a good time at both, and am looking forward to other culture shocks.

-Doug

"Cause we came here to set this party off
Right let's bounce tonight,
And if they won't let us in through the front,
We'll come in through the side."
-Eminim, "Curtains Down"