Dear Reader,
This morning I woke up late for drill. Under normal circumstances, this would result in me earning a new asshole, courtesy of one of the Marine Seargents but today the patented Doug Wood luck won through again. Now I'm having breakfast in the resturaunt below my dorm, five floors above me a sword sits in my room, and I've just been promoted to Commander of the Sword Arch.
I don't know how I do it. Maybe it's just because I'm too awesome for words.
Several weeks ago I was selected to be in the sword arch for the Navy Birthday ball. This is no real problem to me, because I've done something similar for four years in the Marine Corps ball in JROTC. This morning was the first practice. I showed up late, but they were doing sword drills that I already knew. So I just grabbed one an jumped in line.
A few snappy movements has the Seargent's attention in no time. "You! You've done this before!"
"Four years in JROTC Seargent." Normally even mentioning JROTC will get you in trouble, JROTC is considered in the same way Cub Scouts is considered to Boy Scouts. A joke. Today it was an asset.
"Excellent! Johnson, you're off command, Wood, you're on it."
Great. Just Great. You had to open your mouth. You had to show off. Idiot.
So now I'm in command of the Sword Arch.
Fantastic.
-Doug
"Dammit Wood, why'd you have to show up? I was in command."
-Johnson
"You want to be the one they yell at when something goes wrong?"
-Me
"Point."
6 comments:
Rock on! More responsibility.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
I'll take swords for eight hundred Alex!
Thats S-words Mr. Connery.
See what happens when you listen to me? You start succeeding.
Congrats in the pants.
Oh yeah. Kinda cool story.
There's a tournament every year at where I used to fence called Lord of the Sword. Everyone dressed up in costume, and it was a one touch elimination round fundraiser for the school. You had to buy 'lives' @ $5 a pop, and when you ran out of lives, you were out.
If it was a double touch, the crowd would throw candy at you.
Super sick.
so would that be luck or karma roundhouse kicking you in the face? My karma will eat your dogma.
-Meghan
Post a Comment